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The Verge of (Self) Love

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection. – Buddha 

I’m a hopeless romantic. Pride and Prejudice is my favorite book. I rarely find a rom-com that I don’t like. I believe in soulmates and Happily Ever Afters. My love for Valentine’s Day should come as no surprise. When I was younger, Valentine’s Day was one of my favorite “holidays”. I loved having an excuse to wear an entirely pink outfit and eat a ton of sweets. I wrote valentines for everyone I knew and spent the day telling people why I loved them. As I’ve gotten older, my view on the day has definitely changed. The expectations that come along with Valentine’s Day can be daunting, whether you’re in a relationship or not. There’s so much pressure not only to have a significant other but also to make a show of your relationship. The worth of your love seems to be measured in terms of material goods, elaborate dates, and cute Instagrams. Those of us who don’t have plans run the risk of feeling inadequate and lonely. Is it really worth the stress? Don’t get me wrong, I still love the idea of Valentine’s Day but I also recognize the problems it can bring.

Valentine’s Day isn’t perfect but I’m still going to enjoy it. As cliché as it sounds, I’ve decided to be my own valentine. I’m sure my friends will make jokes about how it wasn’t really a choice, but that’s neither here nor there. One of my goals for this year is to prioritize myself and I think this is an important first step. My devotional last week was from Matthew 22:39 and it looked at how we can love our neighbor. The idea of loving your neighbor as yourself is extremely common, but there’s a tendency to overlook the last part of the verse. You can’t love your neighbor unless you love yourself. Self-love is the foundation of any solid relationship yet its importance is downplayed. A lot of the time we get lost looking for, or giving out, love and forget to take care of ourselves. Instead of worrying about who I’ll spend the day with, I’m going to focus on loving myself.

My plans may not be the most romantic but I’m very excited. I’ve already written myself a card, which is basically a tradition at this point, and there’s a very tempting piece of chocolate cake calling my name. I’ll be spending the evening with my true loves, Soup Club (more on this later) and IR readings. When I inevitably give up on the readings, I’m going to do a face mask and watch Netflix. What more could a girl want?

Whether you go for a traditional celebration, time with friends, or something entirely different, I hope you have an amazing Valentine’s Day. Buy your own flowers, read a book for fun, and make the most of the day. You deserve it!

9 thoughts on “The Verge of (Self) Love”

  1. I think it’s such a lovely idea to love yourself, because when you are stronger then you can be strong for other people… Do you know of any deeper ways to help love yourself? I love the idea of pampering myself but I’m wondering if there is anything else I could do on a deeper level? 💚

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    1. I’ve been working on unplugging. I’d suggest taking at least an hour away from your phone, computer, and social media to really focus on your wellbeing. A lot of the time we’re our own biggest critics so make a conscious effort to be kind to yourself. Make lists of things that are going well and things that you’re thankful for to keep a positive mindset. Don’t be afraid to say no to work or events that are draining. Get rid of negative people. Remember that you’re great and deserve to be treated well!

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  2. I love this! I don’t think you’re weird, I think you’re awesome. I could not agree with your thoughts on Valentine’s Day. I’m also a bit of a romantic and enjoy romantic gestures but I hate the idea of having to show off my relationship and definitely hate the pressure. I’ve been with my partner for 8 years and sure in the beginning we’d go all out but now it’s like we love each other all the time and don’t need a holiday to go out to dinner or buy each other gifts. The harder part for me though is seeing everyone else doing it online. I’m always on board for something low-key (because restaurants are crowded and have bad service anyway) but then I see the social media posts and I’m like let’s do something crazy! Luckily my husband keeps me grounded. I’d much rather spend the day appreciating myself or buying myself something nice because I know I don’t do that enough. So good for you 🙂

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