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To My Ex’s New Girlfriend 

Background

At this point, my life should actually be a tv show. A couple of weeks ago, my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend randomly messaged me. They’ve officially been together for a few months and everything seems to be going well. I’ve never met her nor have I felt the need to talk to her, so I was really surprised when she basically asked for my blessing and said that she hoped that we could be friends. My initial reaction was confusion and anger. Eventually, I found the humor in the situation and laughed about it with some friends. I never did respond to her. Unfortunately, she didn’t take the hint and messaged me again. She also friended me on Facebook, followed my Instagram, and commented on some of my blog posts. At this point, I realized that she wasn’t going to go away until she got what she wanted. I started drafting a response but never sent it. Since I spent a decent amount of time on the response and I need a post for this week, I’ve decided to reply to her through my blog. Hopefully, she’s still stalking me and will find this.

The Letter 

You’re probably wondering why I wrote this, especially since I never responded to your texts and ignored your friend request. Honestly, so am I. Your messages seemed unnecessary but you clearly felt the need to reach out. A part of me is sorry that I never got back to you but on the off chance that you read this, here is everything I would have said and more. 

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t hate you. Although, at one point I might have wanted to. At first, I was kind of irritated that we were so similar. It was like the boy simply traded me in for a newer model. It seemed like a better version of me had stolen the one person I assumed would be in my life forever. So yes, for a while I wasn’t your biggest fan. Now that the pain has subsided and I’ve had time to reflect on the situation, I’ve realized that I have no reason to dislike you. Our problems started before you and the relationship would have ended without you. That being said, we don’t need to be friends. Yes, the boy and I still share a lot of mutual friends and will be forced to interact. No, that doesn’t mean that you need to follow me on social media or try to become my BFF. I don’t hate you but I do hate forced friendships. We can exchange pleasantries when we inevitably run into each other but there’s no reason to get together for lunch. We wouldn’t be friends if you weren’t dating him. There’s no point in pretending otherwise. 

Now here’s the part where I give you my blessing, even though I don’t understand why you need it. I’m honestly happy for you two. Our mutual friends all say that you’re lovely and keep him grounded. He needs someone like that. I’m sure you’re starting to pick up on his quirks and figuring out how you work together. Everything is still new and fun. Enjoy this phase. You asked me to tell you what I loved about him and why the relationship didn’t work. He’s great in a lot of ways and terrible in others. I’m sure he would say the same about him. If you want more details, talk to him. My job isn’t to bash him or give you insight into the inner workings of his mind. You’ll figure things out for yourself. What I will say is even though we didn’t work out, I don’t regret anything.  He’s genuinely a good person and I will always treasure the time we had together. I have no doubt that he’ll do everything he can to be a good boyfriend. If you’re really committed to this relationship, which it seems like you are, don’t hold back because of whatever you think is still going on between us. 

I’ll end this with some advice, which is probably overstepping but oh well. You reached out to me after all. His family is the best. Treasure them but don’t let them run your relationship. Love him wholeheartedly but remember to love yourself too. He can be consuming and it’s easy to lose yourself when you’re with him. Don’t forget to fight for what you need. Even though he pretends not to be, he’s a giant softie and needs to hear all the mushy things that he claims he hates. Finally, and most importantly, be happy. Fall in love with him daily. Call him out on his bs but also tell him when he makes you smile. Try to enjoy every moment you spend with each other. I still don’t think that you need my blessing but I’ll happily give it to you. 

24 thoughts on “To My Ex’s New Girlfriend ”

  1. I can’t imagine what this must feel like. I wonder what I would do? Ugh. Just thinking about it makes me a little sick. I think it’s totally within your right not to respond, it’s just weird.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Trying to placate your ex’s new girlfriend must be tough for you. I’m sorry you are in this situation. I don’t understand why she is trying to contact you, or have your blessing in her relationship. Like the comment above me, I think your ex’s new girlfriend is kind of strange and probably insecure too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Such a hard situation to be in. I think your feelings are valid and sometimes writing it out helps to get things off your chest. Even if you don’t engage back and distance yourself from the situation.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m glad it was you and not me in this situation because I don’t know that I would have been as kind. What I do know and so does everyone else, is that if he quit dating you for someone else, he’ll do the same to her. It’s inevitable.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think you handled this weird situation with a lot of grace and dignity. I have no idea what I’d do in your situation. I liked that you told you don’t need to be friends but you can still be civil with each other.. I think that’s really important . I hope it works out and she takes it well. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have never experienced something like this personally, but you really shine a light on what this situation would feel like. It sounds like you are handling it pretty well and I hope you can find more peace with the situation. Wishing you the best!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow you are very nice. m glad it was you and not me in this situation because I don’t know that I would have been as kind. In the long run he drop her the same way he did you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I couldn’t have said it better if I were in your shoes. Just like her, I had the same desire to befriend my husband’s ex wife. I can say honestly that my intention wasn’t the nicest because I just wanted to stalk her. 😁 I was curious. But ya, there is no need for all that. 👍 I’m happy you’ve moved on. ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Wow! You gave me goosebumps. If you read any of my stories – byefeliciahellolife.com, you would understand. I wish my circumstances were closer to yours. I could have had happy memories. You are a beautiful person!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I have had to deal with exes and new spouses because children were involved. Although I would not have chosen to be friends if I had just met them on the street, I was friendly and did what was best for the kids in the long run. Without them, I don’t know if I could have been as pleasant.

    Like

  11. Great response, I have no idea why she would want to be your friend, it is such a strange thing to want to do?

    Like

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